Through the Eyes of College Student: Solidarity


NeW PhOnE WhO DiS?

     I am supposed to be studying for my organic chemistry exam tomorrow but here I am, once again, listening to music too loud through my headphones and getting distracted.

    Over the past couple of days, I been having this urge to journal for some odd reason. However, as the millennial I am, writing is not my favorite thing to do; I much prefer to type. (I like believe that   I'm so smart that my brain works too fast for my hands to write as fast as I think) I have heard that journaling or simply writing down your thoughts is VERY good for your mental health so here I am. I have been having a tougher time controlling my anxiety but I am used to it around this time of the semester every year in school as we are half way through. I wouldnt say it is seasonal depression however I do feel a bit low or have at least one "low" thought every night. Music is my escape but sometimes a sadder song comes on and I get all into my feels. Sometimes I have a hard time pinpointing exactly what emotion I am having. Tonight, I am feeling lonely which I havent singualrly identified in a long time. Dont get me wrong, I have made many friends here at college and a friend who I would consider my college bestfriend (I mean that in the nicest of ways, but my bestest best friend is at another school, you know what I mean) and we are together or at least see each other everyday. In fact, I live with her and all of our/my friends. But this night I was studying in my bedroom laying on the floor (like one does) and I just had this sudden feeling of being alone. idk. Literally I was practicing turning Fisher projections of D-Glucose into Haworth projections when I stopped and felt like I needed someone to be here with me. I am a pretty independent person, introverted, and have been single my entire life. (A WHOLE 20 YEARS! 2 DECADES GUYS!) I didnt want to hang out with this best friend, I wanted someone who was my best friend but was also more than that. I just want someone who I can share my life with and feel loved by. I am notorious (only to myself) for having a pretty low self-esteem and being self-deprecating. So ensued a mental squabble about wanted to be with someone but also knowing what it feels like to think you are the ugliest person in a room full of people.  Then it was like someone was reading my mind and Spotify played "There's No Way" by  Lauv ft. Julia Michaels and I got more sad. Thanks a lot. I'm going to fail this exam longing for a boyfriend that I presume will not happen until I'm about die jk jk (no, but seriously)
     The next song that happened to play was "Falls" by ODESZA ft. Sasha Sloan in which it has the lyrics:

Ever feel like it’s too much
Do you feel like you’re not enough
When you feel like its gonna take forever

Yeah I swear I know what its like
To feel alone at the end of the night
Maybe you don’t know it but it gets better

It’s gonna be alright

Now, I really freaked out that some with telepathy was nearby and controlling my Spotify! I immediately put this song on repeat and blast it until I regained some integrity and self-confidence. I presume that ignoring this feeling isn't the best option as it will reappear some other inconvenient time. But I think have come to a conclusion that maybe I was meant to be alone. And not alone in the definition of singularity,  but alone as in MY OWN bestfriend. For so long, I was looking for (and still am) a tangle, visable, human being I could share thoughts and feelings with but I think before I can share my messed up mind with another vulnerable person I need to understand and care for myself more. This sounds so overplayed and cliche about "self-care" but I need to learn to enjoy my own physical presence. I can't just expect another whole ass human to accept me if my own soul cant???? Idk how its been 20 years and I still havent figured any of this shit out.....but I guess everyone works at their own pace.

Wish me luck on my exam tomorrow at 8am,

Holly

5 Tips to a Great Move Out Day!

   

     As the end of my freshman year is coming to a close; I have been feeling a little sad about it but excited to move on with my educational career. Weirdly enough, I was absolutely ecstatic about leaving the hell hole American's call High School. Now, I'm not saying my school or school district were themselves terrible; but man the people in these school are sure one of a kind... and not necessarily in a good way.
     Starting college was the start to another fresh blank chapter in my life and an ending to a less than average, merely mediocre one. Now just like that, I'm going to have to move all my junk out my dorm room and back to my home for 2 months and then do it all over again! Doesn't that just sound like fun?!
     Along the way, I have received or realized ways that can and will minimize the headache of moving crap from the 3rd floor of my building to the car, to home, and then do it all in reverse and I'd like to share those with you!

http://www.collegeconfidential.com/admit/college-move-day/

1.Plan Ahead
   This might seem obvious but start removing things weeks or even months prior to the actual move out day; that is if you can. It is now March and I don't actually move out till May but I brought a lot of little "knick knacks" to make my room more "homie I guess. I used Spring Break as the time to do a bigger de-cluttering time. I took home items that I wouldn't necessarily need for the rest of the school year.

2. Keep Boxes 

    This one applies more to the people who get a lot packages in the mail or bought stuff off of Amazon and ship it to their dorms. You should save those boxes to use to store stuff for move out. This way you don't have to buy boxes or have stuff floating around in the car. Even bring tape to keep things organized and safe for the journey home.  

       Alternatively, for those who sadly don't get packages or any mail of any sort, you could just even buy trash bags and lump stuff together to keep them neat. Keep clothes on the hangers and just wrap a bag around the bottom and tie at the top near the hangers. 

         PRO TIP: You could even have a bag/box of just stuff you didn't use throughout the year so you know next time not to waste your time packing them!

3. Eat Food

    I'm not telling you to eat before packing so your energized and not cranky (which you should do btw) I'm talking about all the food that will be left over when its time to leave. Weeks or days prior trying eating a bit more than usual or if you have a meal plan but also lots of snacks in your room, try skipping a meal in the cafe and opt for a meal in the dorm. This way you'll have a little less to pack, and a less chance of it going bad on the trip home; especially if it needs to be refrigerated.  

4. Make Extra Cash

    SELL THOSE BOOKS! Usually, by this time you have already figures out your next semester's ("next years") class schedule. You know the books you might need as well. In with the new, out with the old. If your school has a Facebook page or a student app you could post what books you want to sell or even trade. 

http://berniesbooks.com/bernies_books/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/photodune-1237368-business-books-with-money-s.jpg

5. Work Large to Small

    Typically, the minds first place to go is to remove small easy stuff. Rebel! Work with the harder, larger items so when the day goes on and it just keeps getting hotter or your getting tired; its just small items left to move! Packing larger items first in the car is a great way to keep track of how much space you have left too.

I hope these 5 easy tips will assist you in a clean easy move out day! If you have any questions or tips of your own please enlighten us in the comments below!

I JUST REMEMBERED MY FETUS SELF HAD MADE A BLOG!!

HOLY SH*T! I JUST REMEMBERED MY FETUS SELF HAD MADE A BLOG!! It randomly came to mind today while studying for my ASL 100 (American Sign Language) exam tomorrow. Holy crap! Its so weird to read those last two posts and reminiscing about all the stress I was going through...if only I knew. It's funny cause now its 2nd semester of my freshman year at college! Spring break is 2 days away so my anticipation is pretty palpable and procrastination is at a (not an all-time) high for sure. (Follow my Pinterest for summer inspiration!) *PLUG PLUG PLUG* https://www.pinterest.com/hollyc_1230/summer/
Update for the college life worries: I haven't signed my major yet but, I came here with the intention of majoring in Biomedical Sciences and recently decided to try out minoring in ASL (American Sign Language.) "What do you want to do with that degree?" You can go wait in that line over there with the other people who are awaiting a response from me. ----->
Last semester I took 15 credits: Western Civilization of 1700's, Beginners Tennis, Bio 111 & lab, Chem 131 & lab, and Cultures of the World. This semester I am trying out 18 credits: Bio 112 & lab, Chem 132 & lab, Com 101, Calculus,  and ASL 100. I probably wont ever take 18 credits again unless necessary because all this stress is bringing back a lot of my anxiety symptoms and I'm not a happy camper about that.      
THIS TIME FOR SURE I'M GOING TO MAKE AN EFFORT TO ACTUALLY MAKE POSTS ON HERE. I feel that getting my thoughts out will significantly de-stress my mind, soul, and body.

*shoots up slightly askewed peace sign trying to look cool*
-Holly

Im back...with an explianation

   Surprise surprise, I'm back! I took a longer break than expected but never the less; I'm here! Last time I said I would talk about my bio a little more in depth so let's go. The bio is supposed to say stuff about you so the reader can get a feel for who you are as a person, right? So in my bio I say multiple things I aspire to be when I "grow up". But, in correspondence with this blog's name, I am confused. Usually, people have some sort of idea of what they want to do for the rest of their lives but me, I dont. This problem hunted me as a child. I feel like I'm at a dead end. The list in the bio is a collection of things I've told people but also my hobbies. If only there was a profession that did all of them... I think I have this fear of picking one and getting bored of it or not smart enough or it won't pay well and my dreams of owning a big house and many cars and a pool full of gold coins won't come true. Maybe I have commitment problems. Maybe I'm super indecisive. Who knows? But along with the confusion, I lack in the motivation department. Nothing really has me so excited that it's all I can think about and want to do all the time. I know I'm only 16 (17 in 46 days) and probably over thinking this but it's always bothered me. I dreaded this moment of having to make this final life impacting decision.
  If you have any ideas or tips on helping me find a real passion or on how to pick a correct job for yourself please comment on this! I need help, I'm applying for colleges soon!
   *shoots up a slightly  skewed peace sign trying to look cool/hipster-ish*

-Holly
 

First ever post!

Well, here I go. This is my first ever blog post. Not really sure what to say but I guess just saying what's on my mind currently is working alright. To be honest, this blog will probably never live up to the dreams I had for it. I just thought it would be cool to have a place to share some thoughts, questions and concerns I had about everything in general, not that anyone would reply, because I'm always on some sort of electronic device and I always forget about the journal I try and write in once every 6 months. I was once told that writing (typing) things down will help get your thoughts organized and help you see life clearer. This is what I am seeking. A refresher to get my misguided mind back on track. It's getting late (10:00pm to be exact) ,who am I kidding 10 is early but anyways, the next post shall be about me. Probably describing my bio a little better. *shoots up a slightly  skewed peace sign trying to look cool/hipster-ish*

-Holly